Want to create belonging? Try this one simple thing

Wow, I’ve just died and gone to heaven, I thought.

It was the first time I’d stepped foot in PA Consulting’s San Francisco office. I was sitting at my desk around 3 in the afternoon when some colleagues stopped by to ask me out for coffee.

I have colleagues! Asking me to get coffee with them!

I was thrilled.

Since COVID, it’s felt like such an effort to connect and get to know people at work—I don’t think I’m alone in this!

Even before the “new normal” of remote working, hybrid work, and virtual meetings, we’re usually so busy at the office. So many of us are just there, keeping our heads down, focused on our work.

But there’s something incredibly special about walking down the street to the coffee shop, sitting down with your colleagues, and getting to know them on a personal level. It’s precious—and something we’ve definitely been taking for granted. Especially in this brand-new world without proximity.

I know I have!

When my colleagues asked me to join them for a cup of coffee, I was delighted at the opportunity. I started thinking about why it mattered to me so much.

It’s because it created an instant sense of belonging. My new colleagues wanted to get to know me. It was an invitation to connect. And it made me feel welcome.

So here’s my recommendation to you: Ask a colleague out for coffee! (Yes, even if they don’t drink coffee! You can grab tea or a snack or lunch instead. And, yes, virtual coffee counts!)

Ignore that voice in your head that says, “I don’t have permission to do this.”

You do!

Ask a colleague to take a 15-minute break with you. Ping someone on Slack and say, “Hey, just thinking of you. Have a few minutes to chat?”

Fair warning: This is not coffee with an agenda. This is not “picking someone’s brain.”

This is simply sitting down with someone to get to know them a little bit better—without asking for a favor or having an ulterior motive.

Why does this simple ask matter? Because there’s no better, more powerful ritual of belonging than asking someone to spend time with you, to join you for a drink or a meal or even for a quick conversation

And let me tell you, what a difference it makes to be asked!

This is a great opportunity for leaders, too. If you make the first move, you can disrupt the status quo. Shake things up! Show your team they can connect and socialize instead of just staying in their lane.

One colleague at PA Consulting shared that he blocks out every Friday afternoon to reach out to 4-6 colleagues on his team. He has 200 people on his team and he keeps track of the last time he connected with them to make sure that not too many weeks go by without a connection.

So, this week I’m challenging you to ask someone out for coffee or even to just connect virtually. And hit reply to tell me what happens when you do!

– Charlene

My Latest: (pull from Content Library)

• Fact (backed by research!): An inauthentic purpose is worse than not having one at all. This livestream shares how to cultivate an authentic purpose you’ll stick with, even when times get tough.

• What’s the most direct way to empower someone? In #LeadingDisruption, I shared why “helper’s high” could be your most powerful leadership tool—and how to make kindness a priority at work.

• I was recently named one of the Top Voices in Company Culture by LinkedIn. I’m frequently asked how to create compelling social media content so I’m going to share my best practice in my next livestream on Tuesday, July 12 at 9am PST / 12pm EST. Join me then!

Good Things: (Eva will supply from meeting notes)

• Reads/Listens: Competing on Thought Leadership by Robert Buday is a really detailed book with nitty gritty tips on driving leads and following up. It’s an excellent handbook on using thought leadership to build your business.

• Referrals: There’s a misunderstanding around Inbox Zero. It’s not about letting this “ideal” get in the way of doing things. It’s not about dealing with everything immediately. It’s about going through your inbox and sorting messages, processing things, and figuring out next steps, similar to David Allen’s Getting Things Done processUse the 2-minute rule - deal with it now only if it takes 2 minutes. Otherwise, work on it later.

• Resource: I love having afull year calendar on my wall because I can see, at a glance, my whole year. This calendar from NeuYear is the only one I’ve found that doesn’t break things down by month but by weeks. It doesn’t split the week when a month changes over, and you can choose to start your week on Mondays (like me!) or Sundays.