The Feedback Framework That Changed Everything (Really!)

Author

Charlene Li
February 10, 2025

I once had a team of insecure overachiever analysts. They were introverts, brilliant at their work, and incredibly nice people.

Too nice, as it turned out.

They were so nice that they wouldn't tell each other what was really going on. Instead, they'd come to me: "So-and-so is doing this thing that's really annoying. Can you do something about it?"

I got sick of everyone putting me in the middle instead of taking ownership of their issues with each other. So I did something about it.

I brought in trainers from the Center for Creative Leadership to teach everyone the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) model. The process was simple but powerful:

1️⃣ Describe the situation so everyone's on the same page.

2️⃣ Share the specific behavior you observed (no judgments about intent, just clear and objective observations).

3️⃣ Explain the impact on you or the other people in the room.

We started with positive feedback to create safety. The team practiced saying things like, "When you walked into that meeting with a big smile, the impact was that it put everyone at ease." Everyone started spotlighting the good that was happening, and that encouraged more thoughtful interactions.

Then, we practiced constructive feedback—harder, but even more important.

The impact was almost immediate. Soon, I heard people asking each other, "Hey, can I give you an SBI?" The framework made it safe for everyone to share what they were really thinking. More importantly, we came to give and receive feedback for the gift that it is. 

The framework was so transformative that I brought it home. When my kids would come to me complaining about each other, I taught them this approach. Over time, they learned to address their issues with each other directly. As adults, they're now excellent at giving feedback to each other, their friends, and yes—me! 🙄

This feedback framework extends beyond my home and my work. It’s impacted every relationship in my life. It's the one expectation I have in my relationships with friends, family, and colleagues: If something's bothering you, my expectation is that you'll share it with me—and I’ll hear it.

That ability to give and receive honest, thoughtful feedback is the foundation of every healthy culture—whether in teams, organizations, or families. But it's a skill we rarely train for. 

When we invest in developing these skills and creating a culture of feedback, we create environments where people feel safe to be honest. We make room for growth and transformation, one conversation at a time. 

Hit reply and let me know: How are you equipping your teams with these feedback skills?

P.S. I honestly can’t recommend the SBI model enough. For more information, head over to the Center for Creative Leadership.

-Charlene

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Charlene Li

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