Read this if you’ve ever felt guilty…

“Mommy, do you love your clients more than you love me?”

Oof.

I’d just told my young son I wouldn’t see him in the morning because I had an early flight, and his response tugged at my heartstrings.

“Honey, I love you and your sister more than anything in the world,” I said. “And I love my job. I wouldn’t be the best mommy I could be if I didn’t have my work. Every minute I’m away from you is really hard, but I have so much joy when I come back.”

Here’s the thing: My work is a really important part of who I am. And so is my family. I want to have both—and I can.

But not if I work a third shift.

Let me explain.

Right after I got married, I heard an impactful piece of advice: Don’t work the third shift.

That wisdom wasn’t about working the graveyard shift. It was about the “shift” you take on by feeling guilty that you’re not doing enough during your first shift —work—and second shift—taking care of yourself, your family, and your community.

Let me be clear: forgoing the third shift is not about doing more or being perfect. It’s about embracing “the good enough” approach to being a parent—or a person. It’s the idea of seeking harmony rather than trying to attain balance.

This key piece of advice stuck with me, and now I share it with others because we all tend to “work a third shift.” We constantly worry we’re not doing enough: self-care, eating well, working out, parenting, cooking from scratch, caring for aging parents, and so on.

We need to free ourselves from the guilt that we have to “do it all” and be the best at everything. When we practice letting go of the third shift, we’ll start to see tremendous opportunities unfold.

Personally, I know that If I’d let the third shift consume me, I never would have built an amazing career and an raised a wonderful family.

There is such freedom in gently lowering the bar, and no longer sacrificing personal needs and health for the sake of “it all.”

Everyone will be better off when we do.

I’m curious: Are you working a third shift these days? What’s one thing you can do to feel a little less guilty this week? Hit reply and let me know!

– Charlene

My Latest: (pull from Content Library)

• I don’t believe in breaking down organizational silos. Wait—what?! There’s a better way to get things done. Watch this livestream to find out how.

• Who’s the best leader? Hint: NOT the person with the craziest ideas! In #LeadingDisruption, I shared the characteristics of a great disruptive leader.

• 77% of leaders identify themselves as allies, but Black and Latina women say they receive between 11 and 16% allyship. That’s a BIG gap! Join me live on LinkedIn next Wednesday, June 1ast at 9 am PT to learn how to close it.

Good Things:

• Reads: How to Let Go of Working-Mom Guilt is a great article by Sheryl G. Ziegler, and it covers some of the same topics I get into today about the third shift. I recommend it!

• Referrals: My friend Dorie Clark has a great TEDx talk featured on the TED.com homepage titled “The real reason you feel so busy” (and what to do about it)”. It’s a quick watch – and will make you take a close look at the underlying reasons behind your packed calendar.

• Resource: It’s estimated that 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives. If you or someone you know has imposter syndrome, then these essays by my author friends in the Silicon Guild may be helpful. I especially liked the advice from Liz Wiseman (via Whitney Johnson) “Whether you think you deserve to be in this position is now irrelevant. What matters is, what are you going to do now that you are here?”