One “right” way is the *wrong* way

Is there a “right” way to do things or be something?

Is one way of managing your time superior to another? Is there a better way to lead a team?

I’ve been wrestling with this idea a lot lately, especially when it comes to my personal habits. If there’s one right way, that implies there are plenty of wrong ways.

But…are there?

I don’t think so. And here’s why.

Dictating one right way to do something — hit a goal, create a habit, raise a kid, cook a meal — or be something — a leader, a disruptor, an early adopter, a parent — puts way too much pressure on us to perform.

And it detracts from the nuance and diversity present in how we show up. Instead of reveling in it, we’re creating shame around it: “You must not have control over your team if you’re still letting them work from home.” Or: “Your kid is eating a turkey sandwich — on gluten-filled bread?!”

The more allowance we give ourselves to show up in a way that works for us, that’s true to who we are, the more freedom and latitude we have as leaders. And the same applies when we allow and encourage our teams to come to work as their whole selves.

Which is just one more reason our entire construct of “right” and “good” and “successful” needs to change.

Why wouldn’t we want diversity on our teams? Why wouldn’t we celebrate different perspectives, strengths, and backgrounds? There’s irrefutable research that connects diversity to innovation and better business results.

So instead of looking for culture fit, let’s look for culture adds.

There’s no one perfect candidate for a job, the same way there’s no one right way to lead a team or drive change or be successful. (And, by the way, I can’t tell you how many leaders have bemoaned that they have to “pass over qualified white male candidates to hire diversely.”)

Diversity is NOT a compromise. It’s a necessity, especially for disruptive leaders.

Here’s an example. I was speaking with a venture capitalist and I asked how they were addressing the fact that female and non-white entrepreneurs get funded at significantly lower rates. They admitted that, in the end, with equally compelling opportunities, they would choose a male Stanford grad over pretty much any other leader. That’s because of their familiarity and comfort level with that profile.

But how much time are they spending outside of that precious bubble to meet and understand other types of entrepreneurs? How much better would they be at seeing and sensing disruptive shifts on the horizon if they worked side by side with diverse board members?

The sooner we abandon the outdated paradigm of the best, perfect, and ideal way to do things, the better. And who knows what wonderful, ingenious things will unfold when we stop pretending there’s only one way?

Because, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how things happened or if they were perfect. What really matters is whether things got done. Whether you moved forward.

Next time, I’ll share how I learned this the hard way — and how I had to completely rethink my relationship with productivity.

Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you think there’s one right way to do things? Can you think of any examples when it might actually be a good idea?

– Charlene

My Latest:

• What are the limiting beliefs holding you back? I’ve asked this question hundreds of times and shared the findings in my latest Livestream. Watch to learn what I found.

• The word “perfect” really irritates me. And yet I believe every day can be a great day. In Leading Disruption, I shared my expectations and how this outlook has transformed the way I move through my day.

• I’m coming to NYC! I’m honored to be speaking about business transformation at the World Business Forum, one of the most prestigious business conferences, on Thursday, November 3. Take advantage of the discount code “charlenespeaks” for $200 off.

Good Things:

• Reads: My friend Morag Barrett is the co-author of You, Me, and We: Why We All Need a Friend at Work, a new book about developing relationships that foster trust and succes at work via an ally mindset. More than 20% of employees report they have no friends at work, no one they can turn to in times of need. This book outlines practices that will build better relationships with employees and clients and will enable you to be that trusted ally.

• Referrals: I used Modsy for my house’s interior design and wow! The renderings were astounding. I sent a floor plan and uploaded pictures, and they gave me a 3D model with recommendations on how to put everything together in my space. I love that I can buy anything they recommend in the app, they consolidate shipping and returns, and there’s no markup!

• Resource: I pack a selfie ring light in my suitcase so that I always have good lighting for my calls and livestreams on the road. This version has two lights (to remove shadows) and also a webcam/phone holder to raise the camera to eye level. The biggest problem is hotel desks with no edges where I can clamp the light! My solution: Clamp the ring light to an ice bucket and weigh it down with toiletries if needed. Here’s a photo of my setup from yesterday’s livestream.

This newsletter is sponsored by Workplace from Meta, where culture and technology come together to create a more productive future of work. Check out www.workplace.com/future to learn more.