Never forget: leadership is a relationship

I recently attended an alumni gathering in Amsterdam where I reconnected with one of my very first bosses, Ian Smith.

It’s been more than 30 years since we’ve worked together, but I’ll never forget how Ian made me feel:

Limitless.

Like I could do anything.

When I work with leaders today, I often do this exercise with them: I ask them to think about the best leader they’ve ever worked for. Then, I invite them to choose one word that describes how that leader made them feel.

Empowered? Valued? Confident?

Every time I do this exercise with a group, I think of Ian and how he nurtured a sense of limitlessness and audacity in me. Under his guidance, I felt free to dream big and play big.

When I reunited with Ian (click to see photographic evidence!), I relished the opportunity to share this story with him and thank him. I was only 23 when I worked for him! Those were very formative years, and I’m so grateful I had a leader like Ian.

As leaders, our everyday words and actions have a lasting impact on those around us – good and bad.

We don’t often think about how we’re emulating our leaders and trying to create that same feeling. We forget what leadership really is – a relationship.

The greatest leaders are the ones who successfully create a level of closeness, familiarity, connection, and intimacy with their teams.

Why?

Because if we don’t have strong relationships with our employees, we simply can’t get work done. Leaders need to create comfort, safety, trust, and acceptance if they want to do the kind of work that disrupts and transforms organizations.

Without that, success – and achieving those big, audacious goals – will be nearly impossible.

To build impactful relationships and become the best disruptive leader you can be, focus on creating these three elements:

1. Integrity. Your employees want to know that the company’s leaders are honest with them. They don’t want to be kept in the dark; they want to know what’s really going on. As leaders, we need to build a relationship with our employees that encourages honesty. Our employees must trust that, if they confide in us, we’ll treat them fairly – whether they’re happy or unhappy, staying or going.

2. Agency, the belief that you have the power and ability to make decisions and take accountability for your actions. When your employees have agency, they understand how they can be more innovative and disruptive, and take ownership of the process.

3. Openness. Leaders must create trust by sharing, and your default must be openness. If your employees don’t feel comfortable being honest, trust, agency, and integrity diminish, and your employee relationships suffer.

When we remember that leadership is a relationship, our perspective shifts entirely.

Suddenly, fostering an environment of integrity, agency, and openness – and creating strong relationships built on trust that encourage people to show up, contribute, and execute your strategy – becomes a priority.

Here’s an example: When I bring on a new employee, I set the expectation about the type of relatips

I’m curious: Which of your leaders have had a lasting impact on you? I encourage you to reach out to them and let them know.

And I’d love to hear about it, too! Give this exercise a go, and share your one word with me!

– Charlene

My Latest: (pull from Content Library)

• I’m amazed by how many professionals ignore their LinkedIn profile! In my last livestream, I revealed the most important part of your profile, and how to use LinkedIn to enhance your career.

• I share how organizations with authentic purpose are leading the way—and how you can join them—in Leading Disruption.

• How to Leverage Thought Leadership to Drive Business: “Give away as many ideas as possible” is my thought leadership philosophy, and it works! Join me live on LinkedIn next Tuesday, July 19th to find out how.

Good Things: (Eva will supply from meeting notes)

• Reads: I really enjoyed reading David Gelles’ book “The Man Who Broke Capitalism” about Jack Welch and how his business practices has led to the greatest level of socioeconomic inequality since the Great Depression. The best part is at the end which highlights how some leaders today reject Welchism to do well while also doing good.

• Referral: Meal kits and pre-prepped meals were my family’s saving grace when my kids were at home recently. One is vegetarian, one loves meat and hates tofu, one’s very particular about meat. You can imagine making a meal that satisfies everyone is tough! I gave up the guilt and even cooking to spend more quality time with them. Here are some my favorites with variety to satisfy any palate: Hello Fresh, Factor 57, Methodology, and Thistle.

• Resource: How well protected are you online? Wirecutter has a step-by-step guide on how to simple online security. Some steps only take a few minutes, others New York Times Privacy Project has a very handy website chock full of tools and resources to safeguard your privacy. For example, I hadn’t set up my Chrome browser to HTTPS only mode (now fixed)!