Age Is Just a Data Point (But I’ll Still Tell You How Old I Am)

A lot of people in midlife hesitate to disclose their age. Not me.

I’m 57 years old.

That’s right: 57. For some people, 57 is old. For others, it’s still young. For me, my age is merely a data point of how many years I’ve walked on this earth.

Age is a mindset, and I’ve learned to love midlife. But it hasn’t been easy. I’ve wanted to appreciate better this life stage, which is no easy feat in our youth-centric society.

Enter the Modern Elder Academy, whose purpose is to help midlifers—those in their forties, fifties, and sixties—learn to live a life as deep as it is long. I just returned from its week-long retreat in Mexico, which served as a crucial reminder of our potential at every age—and the wisdom we carry with us.

While with the Modern Elder Academy, a question continued to arise: How do we deal with age? And, in particular, how do we deal with change? Because the truth is, as we get older, there’s a perception that it’s increasingly difficult for us to change.

If anything, I’ve found it easier to change as I’ve aged. I have less fear than at any other point in my life. My children are grown, I don’t have a family to support anymore, and I’m single. I’m working for myself, and I’m financially independent. I’m at the freest point of my life, and that’s when I began to wonder: Am I fooling myself?

The retreat gave me a chance to reflect and reinforce my ability to stand firm in that freedom. One of the inspirations of that week was being with my friend Chip Conley, the founder of MEA, hospitality entrepreneur and maverick, and prolific author (he has a new book coming out in January, Learning to Love Midlife). Chip has written movingly about his cancer journey, and it was inspiring to be with him and see him embrace the joys and struggles of midlife.

It pushed me to look at all the different areas that make up my “wheel of life.” I dug into my physical health, my mental health, my emotional wellbeing, my community and relationships, my spirituality, and my professional pursuits—and then I assessed how I was doing with each one of them. Where was I on a solid foundation? What was feeling shaky?

This process is certainly impactful for everyone, but it’s particularly relevant for disruptive leaders: If you’re going to disrupt your life, you can’t disrupt everything—that’s the makings of a midlife crisis. You need to be on solid ground to disrupt.

Just a few years ago, my personal life was anything but steady. I was facing immense change, and I told myself it made sense to do it all at the same time—to rip the Bandaid and get it over with. In the span of a few months, I got divorced, changed jobs, sold my family home, and lost 30 pounds. It was disruptive, for sure, but it was painfully high in stress.

In hindsight, I wouldn’t recommend this approach. Still, I do believe we sometimes need to take that Big Gulp moment and upend our lives, and this was mine.

Now, of course, I’m able to say yes to adventures and to a steady stream of disruption because so much of my life is secure. I’ve invested in that solid foundation. And I will continue to do so as I age.

In fact, I now do this “wheel of life” checkin on a near-constant basis. At any given point, I’m uncovering parts of my life that are stable and aspects that need tweaking or disrupting.

I’d love to hear from you: Is age just a number, or do you find it difficult to deal with aging and the change that comes with it? What in your life—or midlife—could use a little disrupting?

— Charlene

My Latest:

• How can you possibly build an AI tech stack when everything changes on a dime? Watch my latest livestream or read my LinkedIn newsletter to find out how the solution to this problem isn’t even about technology.

• Want to dig deeper into the five key types of content created by generative AI? I thought so. In Leading Disruption, I’ll walk you through each one. Warning: these tools barely scratch the surface of what is on the horizon.

• As generative AI’s capabilities evolve, so does the need for regulation. (Hint: it’s the humans that need to be regulated.) Tune into my next livestream on Tuesday, Aug. 1 at 9 a.m. PT / 12 p.m. ET on LinkedIn and Facebook Live for the latest developments around the globe.

• When I spoke with Colin Hunter for the latest episode of his popular podcast, The Leadership Tales, he marveled at my “way of making it sound so simple.” I’m told that’s my super power. Tune into his podcast to hear more.

Good Things:

• What I’m re-thinking: “Feed-forward.” Hat tip to Marshall Goldsmith who introduced this idea to me: Instead of giving feedback to people, give feed-forward. What’s the information they need to do better going forward? I now request feed-forward by asking, “What do I need to know to do better in the future?” Give it a try!

• What I’m amazed by: Clipdrop from Stability.ai. I’m not an artist—my illustrations are usually stick figures. Midjourney is difficult to use, but with Clipdrop’s Stable Doodle, I submitted a very bad drawing and a prompt (in this case, “owl in a jungle dreamscape”), and it presented me with a few options. You can see the result below.

• Newsletter I love: Recomendo. I receive six brief recommendations for cool stuff each Sunday. Finds like Clipdrop above are gems, as are the Space Elevator and the how to cut a bell pepper tutorial. Serendipitous, eclectic, and sometimes down-right silly, it’s a great way to start a week.

Thank you for subscribing to the Disruption Dispatch, which goes out to thousands of disruptors every other week to help you on your disruption journey—plus a curated recommendation list of a few Good Things I’m enjoying.

Want more? Check out my weekly publication, Leading Disruption, on LinkedIn.

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