3 rituals that make work more personal

Our society has a clear definition of “rituals.”

They’re observances that mark the passing of things: anniversaries, birthdays, pets’ adoptiversaries, starting — or leaving — a job, weddings, funerals.

But an overlooked element of rituals is celebrating life’s big moments at work.

That’s because we’re supposed to set aside the personal at work. We’re asked to check our personal lives at the door. Even better? Pretend work IS our life.

How much better would it be to bring the personal — and those rituals — to work?

A company that does this really well is Southwest Airlines. I know, I know! They’re steeped in controversy these days, but have you seen their Halloween costumes?! They’re infamous.

They have a big party to celebrate Halloween. The entire office is decorated, and they have a whole area dedicated to pictures over the years of their executives dressed up. (One of my favorites was the executive team dressed as the characters from The Wizard of Oz. Toto was even there!)

Southwest takes Halloween very, very seriously.

But not all their rituals are fun and games. The CEO or COO sits down with every new pilot individually and impresses upon them their top concern: the safety of their passengers.

These rituals reflect the organizations’ values. They’re genuinely warm and inviting. Pre-COVID, everyone hugged. And their stock symbol is LUV!

You might not go all out creating rituals like Southwest, but here are some ideas for smaller equally important rituals you can create at work.

1. Checking in.

It sounds simple — and it is! Too often, we underestimate the power of a quick “How are you?” But it makes people feel seen and safe. When you take the time to check in and show interest in people’s lives, you better understand their context.

Maybe your sales manager didn’t meet her quota for the month. But if you’d checked in, you’d know that she and her partner adopted a baby and she’s not getting much sleep.

What’s important is that you really hear the answer. Let the other person be honest and know there’s no need to pretend everything is hunky-dory. Life just doesn’t work that way!

2. Celebrating personal milestones.

A colleague recently told me, “I’m going to the hospital to see my sister’s baby!” It was his first niece/nephew, and all I could think was, “I’m so glad he’s taking time to celebrate that.”

I’d love to see more workplaces encourage personal rituals like these — instead of making employees feel guilty for taking time off to tend to their personal lives.

Someone’s taking a half day to watch their kid’s talent show? They’ll be out of the office for their family’s annual weeklong staycation? They just bought their first house and are moving in this weekend?

Fantastic. Encourage your team to take time to celebrate these milestones — away from work.

3. Building relationships.

One of my favorite rituals is meeting with new hires to discuss their last day — on their first day.

I often ask, “Where do you want to go with your career?”

We both know this isn’t a forever job. There’s no such thing as lifelong employment, so there’s no point pretending we’ll enjoy a decades-long relationship.

For me, it’s about being upfront and honest so I quickly establish trust and integrity. My role as a leader is to make sure my employees are growing and developing for whatever’s next. And having this kind of honest conversation — right from the start — sets expectations and builds trust.

You don’t have to adopt this exact ritual. But it’s important to create a ritual that builds reciprocal relationships with your employees. That way, quick check-ins are more genuine, and your team feels safe bringing their personal lives (and celebrations!) to work.

I’d love to hear from you: What rituals have you established at work? Hit reply and let me know!

– Charlene

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